Learning to Decide

I’m sitting in a Panera in Charlotte, NC hidden in the corner booth trying to resist any urge to purchase a coffee or perhaps a whole meal with a side of bread. The longer I sit, the more I know full and well I will buy something by the time I leave this joint. Initially, I thought this might be the best place to get away – to think. If I can think, I can decide. It’s turned into too much thinking and not enough deciding.

choices, decisions, right choices, tough choices, hard decisions

For the past week I have gone back and forth with trying to decide on a recent job offer. I parted from my home city to play professional soccer, only to randomly find myself in an awesome marketing internship. After a day, I had been promoted from intern to “specialist.” The pay would follow later.

Over the last 5 weeks I have learned the corporate way of life in an environment I could not have dreamt up myself. It’s professional, yet casual. It’s fun, but serious. The clients rock, and my co-workers are even better.

…This last Friday I declined the offer. My family is home. My wonderful, hot steamy boyfriend lives there, too. My company came back with an enticing counter-offer. It pulls at my heart strings. Taking on this job could open up a whole new world for me. New people with a whole new network of professionals and friends alike. Not to mention, this new city rocks. Like I said before. Decisions suck.

…Attitude matters.

I can’t explain enough to you how much I dislike big decisions, but I need to decide tomorrow. If this decision prolongs past tomorrow, I may not have any friends or family left. Yes. I’m that bad. So here’s advice I need to get through my head:

First-off. This decision is not life and death. Life will go on.
Secondly, the Spirit of God lives and breathes inside me. I can decide confidently, knowing He guides me. Always.
Third. He works all things out for the good for those who love the Lord. I love Him. I love Him so much I hate feeling like I disappoint Him. Which leads me to my next and last point…

He will love me regardless.

This statement changes the game. I still believe decisions suck, but at least I know I’m loved, even if I royally screw up. As I grapple through this for the next day, all I can say is thank you Lord for this experience. Thank you Lord I have a chance to decide. And thank you that You will help me.

Here’s to choices!

“And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever.” John 14:16


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